Hi
Thanx to everyone who commented on my last post......yes of course I will support my daughter and love my grandchild but the road for her is not going to be a pleasant one...the father of the baby is a no hoper they split up 2 weeks ago and really she wouldnt want him in her life now.....not sure why she had him in her life to begin with and not sure why she didnt take precautions god knows how many conversations we had about that but what is done is done, no use crying over spilt milk so to speak ....but he has been giving her such a hard time since she has been here that she has had to go change her phone number and is looking at having to take legal steps ( which she doesnt want to ) but may have to so things arent good.
I have been feeling really sick in the tummy.....especially after my evening meal but over the weekend its been from lunch time onwards .....was having a cuppa with my friend yesterday and said to her you know if I didnt know better I would swear I was pregnant as its the same feeling I had then , she laughed and said to me maybe you are having Ash's morning sickness...I looked at her , she looked at me and we both said is that possible??...Does anyone have any ideas on that one ???
Exercise could be better, eating could be better....... if this gets back on track I know I will feel better emotionally as well as physically....havent lost the attitude just its gone into hiding.......scary bit is I am afraid of loosing it...gawd this is awful.....maybe I really do need to go talk to someone as I just cant seem to cope all that good these days when things go wrong and gees life isnt rosey all the time for any of us.
Hope you are all having a lovely weekend
Em x
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Still here
Hello
I am still here..... this past week hasnt been such a great week for me in lots of ways but I have still maintained my exercise to a small amount and eating hasnt been too bad at all....emotionally I have been a wreck tho......daughter no 1 comes home last Friday with the news that she is pregnant........... yep I want to be a grandma but not in these circumstances....I am not disappointed in her but very disappointed for her , know what I mean.......so this news has thrown me then to top it off I have been sick after my evening meal then fine next morning so have no idea what thats all about......tafe has been so busy we only have 4 more weeks left in the classroom this year as we start our work placements 3rd week back after the holidays...stil dont know where I am going yet but have to do 6 work outcomes based on where I am going..... go figure how that one is supposed to be done.....I am a thinker and a planner not a spur of the moment person but am learning that being like that is going to be somewhat of a requirement, another learning bee for me ............. hope everyone is well ....... will catch up with you all really soon
Love Em x
I am still here..... this past week hasnt been such a great week for me in lots of ways but I have still maintained my exercise to a small amount and eating hasnt been too bad at all....emotionally I have been a wreck tho......daughter no 1 comes home last Friday with the news that she is pregnant........... yep I want to be a grandma but not in these circumstances....I am not disappointed in her but very disappointed for her , know what I mean.......so this news has thrown me then to top it off I have been sick after my evening meal then fine next morning so have no idea what thats all about......tafe has been so busy we only have 4 more weeks left in the classroom this year as we start our work placements 3rd week back after the holidays...stil dont know where I am going yet but have to do 6 work outcomes based on where I am going..... go figure how that one is supposed to be done.....I am a thinker and a planner not a spur of the moment person but am learning that being like that is going to be somewhat of a requirement, another learning bee for me ............. hope everyone is well ....... will catch up with you all really soon
Love Em x
Sunday, September 09, 2007
I am WOMAN I can do ANYTHING
Hello all
I am back ..yes you have heard this before but im back and I am here to stay.........I have gone a whole week without going off track..have counted my points, exercised, done tafe, been a mum , been a friend and it has came naturally, am feeling great, have so much energy and excitement its a wonder you cant feel it from there... I have not given into temptations and boy there has been a few but just knew within that I didnt need to eat the pizza, didnt need to buy the chocolates and chips, didnt need the pluto pup today at the markets and the list goes on and on.......I know deep within that the old em is back , I am focussing on the future, the point I want to be at by Christmas, seeing me as I want to be , being the key to my success :)..
I will not be reporting weight loss atm as far the scales are concerned for me just to feel better is fantastic and I know that soon my clothes will reveal weight loss and for me that suits me fine:)
Thankyou dear blog buddies, ty lady at Gloria Jeans....... and thank me for trusting in me again
Will be around in the next few days.....hope all is as wonderful
Love Em x
I am back ..yes you have heard this before but im back and I am here to stay.........I have gone a whole week without going off track..have counted my points, exercised, done tafe, been a mum , been a friend and it has came naturally, am feeling great, have so much energy and excitement its a wonder you cant feel it from there... I have not given into temptations and boy there has been a few but just knew within that I didnt need to eat the pizza, didnt need to buy the chocolates and chips, didnt need the pluto pup today at the markets and the list goes on and on.......I know deep within that the old em is back , I am focussing on the future, the point I want to be at by Christmas, seeing me as I want to be , being the key to my success :)..
I will not be reporting weight loss atm as far the scales are concerned for me just to feel better is fantastic and I know that soon my clothes will reveal weight loss and for me that suits me fine:)
Thankyou dear blog buddies, ty lady at Gloria Jeans....... and thank me for trusting in me again
Will be around in the next few days.....hope all is as wonderful
Love Em x
Monday, September 03, 2007
a negative into a positive
Hi all
Firsty a big thankyou to all who commented on my last posting :) was very touching to read what you all wrote and how much you care and realistically a wake up call...........made me really think long and hard and I know exactly how I feel being fatter again...not good so here goes again.
I had another wake up call last Friday , I went to gloria jeans with a g/f planned to have a hot choc with skim milk , ended up having a hot chocolate with skim milk and a left with a negative that I decided to turn into a positive.
The story goes like this
I saw this lady that I know from here and she says to me hows the weight loss going......seems as though you have gained weight and you were doing so well, sad really that you didnt stick to it..... I was fuming internally, thoughts of like hello blind man charlie can see I have gained weight, how dare you say that to me in front of people, how dare you of all people who are overweight big time and choose to do nothing about it say that to me but then it got me thinking .... it was the truth although she could have handled it a bit better it was still the truth.....my decision.... to turn this into a positive and remind myself of her words regularly :) thanx a million just what I needed ..... motivation to stick to this........am one determined lady when I want to be.
I will be around soon to catch up on everyones blogs..hope all is wonderful in your worlds
Love Em xxx
Firsty a big thankyou to all who commented on my last posting :) was very touching to read what you all wrote and how much you care and realistically a wake up call...........made me really think long and hard and I know exactly how I feel being fatter again...not good so here goes again.
I had another wake up call last Friday , I went to gloria jeans with a g/f planned to have a hot choc with skim milk , ended up having a hot chocolate with skim milk and a left with a negative that I decided to turn into a positive.
The story goes like this
I saw this lady that I know from here and she says to me hows the weight loss going......seems as though you have gained weight and you were doing so well, sad really that you didnt stick to it..... I was fuming internally, thoughts of like hello blind man charlie can see I have gained weight, how dare you say that to me in front of people, how dare you of all people who are overweight big time and choose to do nothing about it say that to me but then it got me thinking .... it was the truth although she could have handled it a bit better it was still the truth.....my decision.... to turn this into a positive and remind myself of her words regularly :) thanx a million just what I needed ..... motivation to stick to this........am one determined lady when I want to be.
I will be around soon to catch up on everyones blogs..hope all is wonderful in your worlds
Love Em xxx
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
fatter by the minute
hi
I am a failure...........am getting fatter by the minute.............I really dont know what to do just cant seem to keep at it this time...............I think I am going well and thought I had really found the old em but nope I havent..........some days I just eat and eat and feel sorry for myself...why am I doing this?? I think I might need help as I face all my stresses with food:(
Sorry
Em
I am a failure...........am getting fatter by the minute.............I really dont know what to do just cant seem to keep at it this time...............I think I am going well and thought I had really found the old em but nope I havent..........some days I just eat and eat and feel sorry for myself...why am I doing this?? I think I might need help as I face all my stresses with food:(
Sorry
Em
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I hurt my eye :(
Hello Everyone
Sorry I havent been around..this time cant blame tafe..reason being I injured my eye last Saturday.........we were pruning trees and shrubs and a branch flung back and caught me in my left eye..was like ouch but was fine then I was talking to my mum on the phone about 8 ish and omg the pain in my eye was instant and unbearable.....went to the hospital sat there for 3 1/2 hours, to be told I would probably be still here in 4 hours time..grrrrrrrrrr bugger that I came home.......guess they didnt consider it too serious as I could still see out of it , my vision wasnt really affected.....too bad apparently that my eye lid was twice its normal size, using it hurt like hell but nope ..anyway not really whinging here but I didnt go back on Sunday much to the annoyance of my family .....Monday came and it was awful...the pain was still there if I turned my eye to the left and after 4 hours of tafe wasnt good so I decided to go to OPSM ....the girl there was wonderful anyway what I did was grazed the majority of my eye and it had became infected as apparently I was allergic to the sap......still is really sensitive to light, still cant turn it to the left without cringing but its almost back to normal to look at...........funny thing is I always wear my sunnies..this time nope and this happens.........
Weigh in on Monday wasnt anything spectacular......no loss no gain.....really need to take a long hard look here...really..... have come up with the conclusion that I really cant do this alone this time around..I need some direction and some support...basically something to keep me honest....am thinking of signing up to WW again and attending meetings. A friend has offered to come walking with me every afternoon so I hope she can as I really need someone to give me a good shove :(
Ok well I will try and catch up with you all over the next 2 days...hope all is good in your worlds
Love Em x
Sorry I havent been around..this time cant blame tafe..reason being I injured my eye last Saturday.........we were pruning trees and shrubs and a branch flung back and caught me in my left eye..was like ouch but was fine then I was talking to my mum on the phone about 8 ish and omg the pain in my eye was instant and unbearable.....went to the hospital sat there for 3 1/2 hours, to be told I would probably be still here in 4 hours time..grrrrrrrrrr bugger that I came home.......guess they didnt consider it too serious as I could still see out of it , my vision wasnt really affected.....too bad apparently that my eye lid was twice its normal size, using it hurt like hell but nope ..anyway not really whinging here but I didnt go back on Sunday much to the annoyance of my family .....Monday came and it was awful...the pain was still there if I turned my eye to the left and after 4 hours of tafe wasnt good so I decided to go to OPSM ....the girl there was wonderful anyway what I did was grazed the majority of my eye and it had became infected as apparently I was allergic to the sap......still is really sensitive to light, still cant turn it to the left without cringing but its almost back to normal to look at...........funny thing is I always wear my sunnies..this time nope and this happens.........
Weigh in on Monday wasnt anything spectacular......no loss no gain.....really need to take a long hard look here...really..... have come up with the conclusion that I really cant do this alone this time around..I need some direction and some support...basically something to keep me honest....am thinking of signing up to WW again and attending meetings. A friend has offered to come walking with me every afternoon so I hope she can as I really need someone to give me a good shove :(
Ok well I will try and catch up with you all over the next 2 days...hope all is good in your worlds
Love Em x
Monday, July 30, 2007
Monday.....weigh in......
Hello
Week 2 shows a loss of 500 grams so on that front all seems to be going good...............to say I am struggling at times would be somewhat of an understatement........at times it has been like torture to resist not going back to old ways..........anyway will take each day at a time all one can really do hey.
Sorry I havent been around your blogs lately just been really busy with tafe and then had a huge weekend..will pop by later today until then hope everyone is well
Love Em x
Week 2 shows a loss of 500 grams so on that front all seems to be going good...............to say I am struggling at times would be somewhat of an understatement........at times it has been like torture to resist not going back to old ways..........anyway will take each day at a time all one can really do hey.
Sorry I havent been around your blogs lately just been really busy with tafe and then had a huge weekend..will pop by later today until then hope everyone is well
Love Em x
Monday, July 23, 2007
weigh day and sneezes
Firstly today was weigh in day and am very happy to say I have lost 3 kgs.....mostly fluid no doubt but ty very much :)
Day 1 back at Tafe and already 2 assignments ........grrrrrr but they dont look so bad :). I must have sneezed at least 30 times today...be good if for every sneeze you lost an ounce :) ..it is most annoying......not sure why I am sneezing ..I walked to tafe at 8 30 ,the air was cold and blowing in my face but it was such a awsome feeling , made me feel so alive and fresh , even got me thinking about getting up at 5 30 and going for a walk instead of my exercise bike..whether that comes off will be another thing might wait until the weather is a bit warmer...big difference between 5 30 and 8 30 .
I made my lunch and snacks for tafe today much better , made me full of confidence... had a chicken salad for lunch with ww ceaser dressing much to the amazement of my fellow class mates ...fancy eating salads in winter..was a warm chicken salad left to go cold :). It was scrumptious and snacks were an orange , apple and 2 rice cakes ......good girl hey :).
Well am off now going to go do some more bike...hope all is well and have a great week
Love Em x
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sunday Blues
I have had the Sunday blues :( I have been feeling sorry for myself...... looking at myself..crying over those gained kgs, but enough of that..here is a conscious decision that this is going to stop as of now......
Yesterday we had the Harry Potter maniac oops mania in our house , my 13 yr old pacing the house because we werent lined up before 9 am and we were going to miss out lol .....gees will there be life after Harry Potter ....... we went to see the movie last weekend wasnt too bad ...I enjoy it because I see how much my girls love it, thats my excuse anyway lol.
OK back to Tafe tomorrow..... the goal is to fit some sort of exercise into my day...eat properly by making sure I go to tafe prepared everyday...no excuses to not take a nice healthy lunch and morning tea to tafe....... is going to be a long hard term..one of our modules is mental health should be very interesting.
Hope everyone is well , will leave you with this quote
"TODAY any woman can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities-YESTERDAY and TOMORROW - that we break down.
Yesterday we had the Harry Potter maniac oops mania in our house , my 13 yr old pacing the house because we werent lined up before 9 am and we were going to miss out lol .....gees will there be life after Harry Potter ....... we went to see the movie last weekend wasnt too bad ...I enjoy it because I see how much my girls love it, thats my excuse anyway lol.
OK back to Tafe tomorrow..... the goal is to fit some sort of exercise into my day...eat properly by making sure I go to tafe prepared everyday...no excuses to not take a nice healthy lunch and morning tea to tafe....... is going to be a long hard term..one of our modules is mental health should be very interesting.
Hope everyone is well , will leave you with this quote
"TODAY any woman can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities-YESTERDAY and TOMORROW - that we break down.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Glad to be back
Hi Everyone
It is so good to be back blogging........ missed you all so much:).Day 3 today and I am feeling really good.......just from eating good healthy food , water and a bit of exercise I feel so much more energised. Is amazing really just how much fluid I retain but have accepted that this is not going to go away but by lowering my weight and with exercise then the retention wont be so bad.
As I said in last post I am halfway through my tafe course...am enjoying it, has been really hard work but I am very proud of myself and the effort I have put into all my assignments and boy have we had some assignments around 25 so far and am happy to say I have got distinctions in every graded module so far :) so lesson is if you are prepared to put in the work then you will reap the rewards. I am determined to give my weight loss the same amount of respect that I have given my course .
Am so glad to have caught up with you all and made some new friends :) ... is so good to be able to share this journey with you all and be a part of your weight loss world :)
Ok is absolutely freezing here ..coldest winter I have felt in the six years I have lived here ..we are having mornings of minus 4 brrrrrrrrrr am off now to have a nice green tea.
Hope all is well
Love Em xxxx
It is so good to be back blogging........ missed you all so much:).Day 3 today and I am feeling really good.......just from eating good healthy food , water and a bit of exercise I feel so much more energised. Is amazing really just how much fluid I retain but have accepted that this is not going to go away but by lowering my weight and with exercise then the retention wont be so bad.
As I said in last post I am halfway through my tafe course...am enjoying it, has been really hard work but I am very proud of myself and the effort I have put into all my assignments and boy have we had some assignments around 25 so far and am happy to say I have got distinctions in every graded module so far :) so lesson is if you are prepared to put in the work then you will reap the rewards. I am determined to give my weight loss the same amount of respect that I have given my course .
Am so glad to have caught up with you all and made some new friends :) ... is so good to be able to share this journey with you all and be a part of your weight loss world :)
Ok is absolutely freezing here ..coldest winter I have felt in the six years I have lived here ..we are having mornings of minus 4 brrrrrrrrrr am off now to have a nice green tea.
Hope all is well
Love Em xxxx
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Remember Me
Hello
Well it seems like a lifetime....has been a long time.....but now it's " the time"...yep you have read right today is the day where journey no 2 begins.... I have asked myself why is this time going to be any different from the last times...answer because I have found the old me again the girl with spirit, the girl with determination, the girl with the inner peace , the girl who will get to goal and this time when she does she will see herself as she is not how she used to be.
I have grown up and if gaining 20 kgs was needed for that to happen then so be it........this time round I will appreciate each step I take and be happy......... the way I see it is if you always want more then you will never be happy with what you have.......I will be happy this time at goal.......I will appreciate how far I have come and I will respect myself enough this time to not gain again.
I am half way through my tafe course.....a course that has consumed me...but one that also has given me so much self awareness.....one that has made me really see the beauty I have as a person .....inside and out........
75 kgs here I come :)
Well it seems like a lifetime....has been a long time.....but now it's " the time"...yep you have read right today is the day where journey no 2 begins.... I have asked myself why is this time going to be any different from the last times...answer because I have found the old me again the girl with spirit, the girl with determination, the girl with the inner peace , the girl who will get to goal and this time when she does she will see herself as she is not how she used to be.
I have grown up and if gaining 20 kgs was needed for that to happen then so be it........this time round I will appreciate each step I take and be happy......... the way I see it is if you always want more then you will never be happy with what you have.......I will be happy this time at goal.......I will appreciate how far I have come and I will respect myself enough this time to not gain again.
I am half way through my tafe course.....a course that has consumed me...but one that also has given me so much self awareness.....one that has made me really see the beauty I have as a person .....inside and out........
75 kgs here I come :)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
About Time
Hi All
Firstly thankyou for everyone who has popped by my blog is so nice to know you gals are thinking about me.
Well I have been swamped with this Tafe course and my girls....have really struggled to make it all fall into place........have had 13 assignments to do in the first term and some have been really full on...at times I have been really stressed ..mornings of going to bed at 12 30 and then up again at 5 30 to try and get some sort of exercise in have been part of my world..also trying to be here for the girls so they dont feel left out as I have always said NO 1 I am a mum and by the end of the week I have been so tired and more stressed that at times I have asked myself IS this really worth it........Answer has been yes all the time just kept saying to myself it will get easier and trying really hard to convince myself :).
Soooooooo have no idea what my weight situation is like ..feel really fat atm and I am aware that some of my clothes are tighter so gosh knows what damage ive done...........thing is I havent been overeating but exercise has really gone by the wayside and the food choices havent always been good either ........Conclusion ...I need a big kick up the bum........... Solution...........Ok have done myself a timetabe thurs n fri are solely for tafe assignments while girls are at school....so hopefully this will stop the late nights which means the mornings of exercise will happen which means Em will be on top of her world if she can exercise... sounds good hey?
Well seeing as tho I do have a life besides Tafe.. my eldest turned 21 on the 7th March and my 3rd turned 13 on the 11th March so we have had 2 pretty big celebrations happening :).
I will try and pop by everyones blogs really soon .............hope all is going well for everyone
Love Em xxxxxxxxxx
Firstly thankyou for everyone who has popped by my blog is so nice to know you gals are thinking about me.
Well I have been swamped with this Tafe course and my girls....have really struggled to make it all fall into place........have had 13 assignments to do in the first term and some have been really full on...at times I have been really stressed ..mornings of going to bed at 12 30 and then up again at 5 30 to try and get some sort of exercise in have been part of my world..also trying to be here for the girls so they dont feel left out as I have always said NO 1 I am a mum and by the end of the week I have been so tired and more stressed that at times I have asked myself IS this really worth it........Answer has been yes all the time just kept saying to myself it will get easier and trying really hard to convince myself :).
Soooooooo have no idea what my weight situation is like ..feel really fat atm and I am aware that some of my clothes are tighter so gosh knows what damage ive done...........thing is I havent been overeating but exercise has really gone by the wayside and the food choices havent always been good either ........Conclusion ...I need a big kick up the bum........... Solution...........Ok have done myself a timetabe thurs n fri are solely for tafe assignments while girls are at school....so hopefully this will stop the late nights which means the mornings of exercise will happen which means Em will be on top of her world if she can exercise... sounds good hey?
Well seeing as tho I do have a life besides Tafe.. my eldest turned 21 on the 7th March and my 3rd turned 13 on the 11th March so we have had 2 pretty big celebrations happening :).
I will try and pop by everyones blogs really soon .............hope all is going well for everyone
Love Em xxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Busy..busy...busy
Hello
I have been so busy getting the girls back to school ..started miss 9 in a new school one closer to where we now live ..made more sense especially with me starting Tafe and hopefully she will make friends with kids in our area.
Tafe is very heavy....wouldnt really expect welfare not to be now would we..am enjoying it though and even after only 3 days its been amazing just how much more I have learnt about ME.......am so determined to get this qualification and then get the job I want.....I truly believe I can give so much to this area.
Well as far as this journey is going hasnt been too bad at all have managed an hr each day of exercise and my eating is absolutely brilliant while at tafe......but I am struggling at home and this makes me so mad when I can go all day virtually and not worry yet once at home have this struggle.grrrrrrrrr.....but as each struggle appears I just kindly remind myself I can do this..I dont need this nor do I want this and basically this has had a 98% success. I am not finding it as easy.... not that the last time was easy but its harder for me this time..is all in my head and I really feel that I need to find that inner peace again ..once I find that it may then become easier. I havent been near the scales......... I figure that time will come eventually...just dont want to rock the boat so to speak ............
I t is so hot and dry here .....our water levels are slowly twindling.....we cant use hoses only buckets and is very hard to try and maintain our gardens and yards.....they estimate only enough water for 12 mths if no real rainfall.....isnt good ......
Ok well I am out of here ..have been by some of you ones I havent expect a visit soon .....just I have been so busy with Tafe and then the girls once home and exercise and home duties ....trying to fit it all into place will take time but we will get there just like our weight loss journey hey:)
Take care all
Em xxxx
I have been so busy getting the girls back to school ..started miss 9 in a new school one closer to where we now live ..made more sense especially with me starting Tafe and hopefully she will make friends with kids in our area.
Tafe is very heavy....wouldnt really expect welfare not to be now would we..am enjoying it though and even after only 3 days its been amazing just how much more I have learnt about ME.......am so determined to get this qualification and then get the job I want.....I truly believe I can give so much to this area.
Well as far as this journey is going hasnt been too bad at all have managed an hr each day of exercise and my eating is absolutely brilliant while at tafe......but I am struggling at home and this makes me so mad when I can go all day virtually and not worry yet once at home have this struggle.grrrrrrrrr.....but as each struggle appears I just kindly remind myself I can do this..I dont need this nor do I want this and basically this has had a 98% success. I am not finding it as easy.... not that the last time was easy but its harder for me this time..is all in my head and I really feel that I need to find that inner peace again ..once I find that it may then become easier. I havent been near the scales......... I figure that time will come eventually...just dont want to rock the boat so to speak ............
I t is so hot and dry here .....our water levels are slowly twindling.....we cant use hoses only buckets and is very hard to try and maintain our gardens and yards.....they estimate only enough water for 12 mths if no real rainfall.....isnt good ......
Ok well I am out of here ..have been by some of you ones I havent expect a visit soon .....just I have been so busy with Tafe and then the girls once home and exercise and home duties ....trying to fit it all into place will take time but we will get there just like our weight loss journey hey:)
Take care all
Em xxxx
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Winners never Quit...Quitters never Win
Hi Again
Today has been a very eventful day.........firstly I woke up with so many mixed emotions..I felt really down n out and as I lied in bed all I could do was think about the kgs I have gained and how I felt I had lost so much of me....so much of my newly found confidence..so much of my energy ..... and the fear of how am I really going to do this again and then the tears came tumbling down.....it was almost uncontrollable crying..cetainly it was a cry that I hadnt had in a very long time ...tears became sobs and when I finally stopped I felt like a load had been lifted..maybe it was long overdue???.
After breakfast the four of us went to the movies to see Flicka........what a beautiful movie even miss 19 enjoyed it.We then went for a walk down town..last day of the festival thank god lol....Ah its not that bad but this yr there were soo many more ppl here then previous years and it was a rat race.....we didnt get to do too much as we only got back from Newcastle on the Wednesday but we did get to see Lee Kernighan in the park on Thursday night which was good anyways after that it was shopping for some fresh fruit and vegies so now my fridge is chockers with the right kind of food and my cupboards are friendly too so this is a definate step in the right direction hey:).
This afternoon I have read so many blogs....found some new inspirational quotes.......made some new friends found some old ones :) and am feeling really good.
Emotionally I am unstable atm ..might have something to do with not having much ME time for the past 6 weeks...my friends tell me things will settle down when school goes back which is probably true:).........I have enrolled in tafe to do welfare...this has been my passion for so long ...for so long I have avoided it but last yr applied and got accepted.....my course starts on the5th Feb...got to be honest there has been times in the past week that I have thought no I cant do this.....how many times have I lost faith in myself recently??? ANSWER far too many times and I think its about time I stopped this.......found this gr8 inspiration "Winners never Quit and Quitters never Win" how true is this........Em take note of this let this sink in girl !!!!!!!!!!!.
Anyways I am out of here for now.......hope you all had a lovely weekend
Em xx
Today has been a very eventful day.........firstly I woke up with so many mixed emotions..I felt really down n out and as I lied in bed all I could do was think about the kgs I have gained and how I felt I had lost so much of me....so much of my newly found confidence..so much of my energy ..... and the fear of how am I really going to do this again and then the tears came tumbling down.....it was almost uncontrollable crying..cetainly it was a cry that I hadnt had in a very long time ...tears became sobs and when I finally stopped I felt like a load had been lifted..maybe it was long overdue???.
After breakfast the four of us went to the movies to see Flicka........what a beautiful movie even miss 19 enjoyed it.We then went for a walk down town..last day of the festival thank god lol....Ah its not that bad but this yr there were soo many more ppl here then previous years and it was a rat race.....we didnt get to do too much as we only got back from Newcastle on the Wednesday but we did get to see Lee Kernighan in the park on Thursday night which was good anyways after that it was shopping for some fresh fruit and vegies so now my fridge is chockers with the right kind of food and my cupboards are friendly too so this is a definate step in the right direction hey:).
This afternoon I have read so many blogs....found some new inspirational quotes.......made some new friends found some old ones :) and am feeling really good.
Emotionally I am unstable atm ..might have something to do with not having much ME time for the past 6 weeks...my friends tell me things will settle down when school goes back which is probably true:).........I have enrolled in tafe to do welfare...this has been my passion for so long ...for so long I have avoided it but last yr applied and got accepted.....my course starts on the5th Feb...got to be honest there has been times in the past week that I have thought no I cant do this.....how many times have I lost faith in myself recently??? ANSWER far too many times and I think its about time I stopped this.......found this gr8 inspiration "Winners never Quit and Quitters never Win" how true is this........Em take note of this let this sink in girl !!!!!!!!!!!.
Anyways I am out of here for now.......hope you all had a lovely weekend
Em xx
Friday, January 26, 2007
What the hell am I doing here
Hello
I have no idea if anyone is still around to read this........what I do know is I need this to keep me honest and to help me get rid of these kgs.......
Yes you heard right unwanted kgs that I now have to get rid of again...dont worry I have asked myself a hundred times or more over these past 8 months....What the hell am I doing here...Why am I doing this to me after I worked so damn hard to get to goal in the first place.......no answer really.....could be stoopidiness.......carelessness..........whatever it was it cant be anymore...I dont want to get back to where I was...I cant go back to being that person who lives in self denial ....so no more excuses........get your act together and back on track.............
The damage done over the past 8 mths is 19 kgs..I know that is soo bad and yes also so hard to have to sit here and write this but I have to face up to this ..it may be the only way to kickstart my journey again.
I know I have to blog regularly..........hope I can gain some support on the way as that is something that is priceless
I am 42 yr old now............and its about time I realised that this time its for keeps...no more being overweight and unhealthy..I know I can do this........I will tell myself this everyday until I reach my goal then every day after that..atm that is the only goal I am setting myself..I know the road to goal....its one of ups and downs..commitment..attitude..determination....healthier eating and exercise...... its one that never ends unless you give up and throw the towel in and boy this gal aint gonna do that..
I will pop by my old buddies soon..............I hope some of you join me yet again for the journey
Em xxx
I have no idea if anyone is still around to read this........what I do know is I need this to keep me honest and to help me get rid of these kgs.......
Yes you heard right unwanted kgs that I now have to get rid of again...dont worry I have asked myself a hundred times or more over these past 8 months....What the hell am I doing here...Why am I doing this to me after I worked so damn hard to get to goal in the first place.......no answer really.....could be stoopidiness.......carelessness..........whatever it was it cant be anymore...I dont want to get back to where I was...I cant go back to being that person who lives in self denial ....so no more excuses........get your act together and back on track.............
The damage done over the past 8 mths is 19 kgs..I know that is soo bad and yes also so hard to have to sit here and write this but I have to face up to this ..it may be the only way to kickstart my journey again.
I know I have to blog regularly..........hope I can gain some support on the way as that is something that is priceless
I am 42 yr old now............and its about time I realised that this time its for keeps...no more being overweight and unhealthy..I know I can do this........I will tell myself this everyday until I reach my goal then every day after that..atm that is the only goal I am setting myself..I know the road to goal....its one of ups and downs..commitment..attitude..determination....healthier eating and exercise...... its one that never ends unless you give up and throw the towel in and boy this gal aint gonna do that..
I will pop by my old buddies soon..............I hope some of you join me yet again for the journey
Em xxx
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Holidays
Hello
Here we are into the second week of the school holidays....been to the movies a couple of times, ten pin, the park, a fete and the markets last Sunday.....so we have been busy.....tomorrow my 8 yr old is going on her first sleepover at a friends house she is so excited :).
I have been really motivated even though it is school holidays and before this has been a time when I have struggled am not good when my routine is interupted normally but this time all seems to be going smoothly.....so am really proud of this achievement....even got back into my weights and am doing 12 different upper body exercises 3 sets of 12 with 10 kg weights ..was really surprised that I could manage them seeing as though last time I picked up my weights was back in May but I did :)......Anyway am off now to do lower body...hope all is well in your world
Love Em xxxx
Here we are into the second week of the school holidays....been to the movies a couple of times, ten pin, the park, a fete and the markets last Sunday.....so we have been busy.....tomorrow my 8 yr old is going on her first sleepover at a friends house she is so excited :).
I have been really motivated even though it is school holidays and before this has been a time when I have struggled am not good when my routine is interupted normally but this time all seems to be going smoothly.....so am really proud of this achievement....even got back into my weights and am doing 12 different upper body exercises 3 sets of 12 with 10 kg weights ..was really surprised that I could manage them seeing as though last time I picked up my weights was back in May but I did :)......Anyway am off now to do lower body...hope all is well in your world
Love Em xxxx
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
So far so good
Well after doing some real soul searching this past weekend and looking at the few pics that I have of me before I started this journey seems to have lifted me. I have come a long way.......sure I went backwards there for a while but that doesnt mean I have to be so down on myself so I am really confident that the journey has begun again. I have been looking through some WW recipe books that my neighbour lent me and wow there are some really nice recipes.....this has spurred me on also ...tonight I made a chicken and vegie pie has no pastry at all but still it is called a pie lol. It was absolutely scrumptious ..........exercise is going well if I get 60 mins in most days I will be over the moon with that.....30 mins I will be happy with also so am easing the pressure of the hrs I put on myself as far as exercising goes as well....next change is that I am not going to weigh myself on a regular basis...I figure that if I am exercing and eating well then all will be good at the end of the day...........so watch out world Em is back :).
Hope all is well......
Love Em xxxx
Hope all is well......
Love Em xxxx
Friday, September 29, 2006
Remember Me
Hi Everyone
It was good to catch up on all your blogs....and hear all your news...seems like ages since I have been around, well it has been hasnt it...........want to know why ???? ok I hear you saying yes..well I have been so sick.....my sinuses really flared up I could have been a Jon English look alike 3 weeks ago plus I had a middle ear infection and was unable to walk without almost falling over for 3 days..in between I was managing a exercise/eating program seemed like I had a few good days where all was going well then I got sick.....managed to recover get back into it then sick again...trouble also with that was that I was starting to feel so damn down about it all...thoughts that I am never going to get back to where I was last April...bad habits crept in again as far as eating goes and now I am sitting here wondering if I will ever be the same girl I was 16 mths ago when I first started...she seems so long gone as far as my attitude is concerned and I want her back bigtime ( tears go away). Ahhhhh silly me so sorry for being like this atm....anyway also as you know I had computer problem a couple of months ago well I ended up having to buy a new tower so all should really be ok now.
I also lost a dear friend to cancer 2 weeks ago.............OK this isnt good am really emotional atm...if anyone has any ideas as to how I can get the old Em back please feel free to say...guess at the end of the day it has to be me that does it.
Ok hope you all have a lovely weekend.....
Take care
Love Em xxxxx
It was good to catch up on all your blogs....and hear all your news...seems like ages since I have been around, well it has been hasnt it...........want to know why ???? ok I hear you saying yes..well I have been so sick.....my sinuses really flared up I could have been a Jon English look alike 3 weeks ago plus I had a middle ear infection and was unable to walk without almost falling over for 3 days..in between I was managing a exercise/eating program seemed like I had a few good days where all was going well then I got sick.....managed to recover get back into it then sick again...trouble also with that was that I was starting to feel so damn down about it all...thoughts that I am never going to get back to where I was last April...bad habits crept in again as far as eating goes and now I am sitting here wondering if I will ever be the same girl I was 16 mths ago when I first started...she seems so long gone as far as my attitude is concerned and I want her back bigtime ( tears go away). Ahhhhh silly me so sorry for being like this atm....anyway also as you know I had computer problem a couple of months ago well I ended up having to buy a new tower so all should really be ok now.
I also lost a dear friend to cancer 2 weeks ago.............OK this isnt good am really emotional atm...if anyone has any ideas as to how I can get the old Em back please feel free to say...guess at the end of the day it has to be me that does it.
Ok hope you all have a lovely weekend.....
Take care
Love Em xxxxx
Thursday, August 24, 2006
busy bee
Hello everyone
I havent gone missing or back to my old ways just havent had a computer for a couple of weeks is all ... but am back now.
I am really happy to report that I have lost 3.5 kgs and feel like my old determined..positive self and I am also walking something that I didnt do much of before and it is absolutely great to be out there in the fresh air instead of being inside exercising all the time. I still do my bike but atm that is it besides walking ....and I have a lovely yard here at the new house and am soooo enjoying gardening too..have a friend who works at a nursery and she has given me some great deals on some plants...so am really on top of my world atm:):).
My girls are all going well..shell is picking up so much work at the nursing home ..one doesnt get to see her much but she really loves it...Al is finally getting back to her old self after the operation ..we had a bit of drama after i went missing on here ..her wound opened up and just wouldnt heal and it turned out that she was allergic to the stitiches ..then her immune system was low and she picked up every bug that was here im sure but like I said is back to her old self now....loz is a mathematic genius according to her teacher lol and today she went to school as Lilo from Lilo n stitch for the book week parade .....black wig n all lol she looked wonderful......Ash is working atm so all is well :):).
Hope everyone is doing really welll...spring isnt too far away .......Yahhhhhhhh
Catch u all soon ..take care
Love Emxxxxx
I havent gone missing or back to my old ways just havent had a computer for a couple of weeks is all ... but am back now.
I am really happy to report that I have lost 3.5 kgs and feel like my old determined..positive self and I am also walking something that I didnt do much of before and it is absolutely great to be out there in the fresh air instead of being inside exercising all the time. I still do my bike but atm that is it besides walking ....and I have a lovely yard here at the new house and am soooo enjoying gardening too..have a friend who works at a nursery and she has given me some great deals on some plants...so am really on top of my world atm:):).
My girls are all going well..shell is picking up so much work at the nursing home ..one doesnt get to see her much but she really loves it...Al is finally getting back to her old self after the operation ..we had a bit of drama after i went missing on here ..her wound opened up and just wouldnt heal and it turned out that she was allergic to the stitiches ..then her immune system was low and she picked up every bug that was here im sure but like I said is back to her old self now....loz is a mathematic genius according to her teacher lol and today she went to school as Lilo from Lilo n stitch for the book week parade .....black wig n all lol she looked wonderful......Ash is working atm so all is well :):).
Hope everyone is doing really welll...spring isnt too far away .......Yahhhhhhhh
Catch u all soon ..take care
Love Emxxxxx
Friday, August 04, 2006
Return
Hi all
Well I am back ...10 kgs heavier which isnt good hey .......no excuses just an overactive mouth and a lazy attitude.
So its back to loosing weight again.........been trying the past two weeks or so ...with a couple of good days and then the rest shocking but it definately has to be wake up time for me or else i will be back to where I was very very soon and I dont want that...so back to blogland.
I have been reading all your blogs.....not leaving comments though which isnt nice but am excited that you are all doing so well and I see there are a couple of bubs on the way too which is wonderful news.
I hope you will all pop in from time to time....as I really need some support....anyway will be around to comment as of Monday....have a great weekend
Love Em xxxxx
Well I am back ...10 kgs heavier which isnt good hey .......no excuses just an overactive mouth and a lazy attitude.
So its back to loosing weight again.........been trying the past two weeks or so ...with a couple of good days and then the rest shocking but it definately has to be wake up time for me or else i will be back to where I was very very soon and I dont want that...so back to blogland.
I have been reading all your blogs.....not leaving comments though which isnt nice but am excited that you are all doing so well and I see there are a couple of bubs on the way too which is wonderful news.
I hope you will all pop in from time to time....as I really need some support....anyway will be around to comment as of Monday....have a great weekend
Love Em xxxxx
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