Scared and borderline

What a day today has been.......... my g/f was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent the morning today with her to try and cheer her up and I guess take her mind off things for a bit before she goes into hospital tomorrow. She did thank me before I left for being there and cheering her up as best as one can do which was good as she did laugh and I so admire her strength and courage.

So anyway I got home and just fell apart, I have cried and cried virtually for the past 2 hours, scared for her and scared for me too. Instead of exercising like I normally would I just seem to want to sit and cry. I feel a tad selfish as this isnt about me its about my g/f but its just when someone close to you is diagnosed with that dreaded C word , you begin to think what if I have it as well, well I think it and im sure others do too. I have even gone and made an appointment for me to have a mammogram as I am so scared. I am thinking the worst before I even know anything and its eating me, tearing me up inside and all I can think of is what if I am loosing all this weight for nothing, what if I have C too , then it wont matter about loosing weight will it? . I just wish I could switch my mind off, I know I am being silly but am really really scared.
Why am I writing this in here anyway........ gees I guess this is my diary where I air my feelings well I have done before with other stuff so guess wont matter.

soooooo close

Hello

Well today was weigh in day...... lost 1 kg this week so am .2 short of reaching the 100 kg mark and.3 of being a double digit. So next week that will come, I am so excited 19.8 kgs gone for good and I soon will be under the 100kgs.
It is such a good feeling, knowing you are doing something so positive for yourself.
K well I am off to so some shopping, take care all and smile.
Emixxx

my hips are going

Hello
Hope everyone had a great weekend:-)
I had a good one even though my tigers lost but oh well we will be back on track this weekend I am sure .
I had my measurements taken on Saturday and was very pleased with the results here. I lost 27.5 cms this month taking my total now in 15 weeks of measuring myself(didnt do it for the first 3 weeks)to a total loss of 91 cms . I also lost this month 7 cms off my hips , I am absolutely over the moon with that loss as they seemed to be so slow compared to the rest of me.

I am also happy to say that I am up to 45 mins on my treadmill now and in a week of doing it I have walked 11 ks so not too bad . I am looking at trying to increase it every week atm and see how I go with that.

Well tomorrow is weigh in day for me so until then take care all
Emixx