What am I going to do?????
I have had a bad week as far as I am concerned. Firstly my bad choice of food on Sunday followed by a few bad snacks this week and chinese yesterday with my girls and a g/f.I have been exercising still but only managing about half of what I would normally do...... now this isnt the end of the world but to me this week it has been so close to feeling like it.
I am on this journey for the rest of my life for even when I reach my goal its not like its going to be time to eat all the wrong foods again and never exercise is it ?
My decision to begin WW was for me to feel better about me, and be able to enjoy life with my girls and overall a feeling of wellbeing..... now even only after 10 weeks I have achieved all these but when things go wrong or I eat something which I consider to be so bad I get all down in the dumps and feel like a failure.
I dont want to give up.... I know I cant give up, why am I feeling like this? I keep telling myself that my routine will be fine once the girls go back to school and to enjoy this time with them and so what if I dont exercise as much and so what if I even eat a little of my no no food its going to be ok as long as I realsie what I am doing and keep it all in perspective for me. Come on Em its not like you have binged everyday all day... dont be so hard on yourself.
I dont know just want the old Em back, the emicandoit Em, shes here somewhere I know it just got to find her again.
Well take care everyone.... Ill be back I know.
Em
Friday, July 08, 2005
Monday, July 04, 2005
When will I learn not to hurt Me
Ahhhhhhhhhhh What damage have I done?
I had the most awful weekend, went away to see my b/f and hes having such a hard time atm with work and his ex and I hate seeing him so torn up inside but I know I needed to deal with all this in other ways then food but what did I do I hurt myself by eating the wrong food. My body felt so ill after those chips and scallops so it obviously doesnt even like that food anymore but no I kept stuffing it all in.Then to top that off I ate a piece of chocolate mudcake and a bottle of coke.Will I ever learn that when things are down not to hurt myself by eating. I have been so strong and so proud of myself for these past 9 weeks so why did I do this yesterday?
I am back on track today and very determined but cant find the answer as to Why I did it?Maybe I should just forget it, Can you do this successfully ? I guess you have to and one thing I know is theres no excuses. I am responsible for what I do to myself, what I put in my mouth is my own doing.
Now I also have come to realise that before I reach my goal my lifes more than likely going to have some ups and downs and the ppl in my life who I love are going to have problems too that is a reality so what do I do next time I feel so helpless , last thing I want is to turn to food so I am going to do myself a little book to read when I feel like I did yesterday and hopefully that will help me .
If anyone reads this pls feel free to leave any suggestions.
Take care and stay positive
Emixxxxxxxxx
I had the most awful weekend, went away to see my b/f and hes having such a hard time atm with work and his ex and I hate seeing him so torn up inside but I know I needed to deal with all this in other ways then food but what did I do I hurt myself by eating the wrong food. My body felt so ill after those chips and scallops so it obviously doesnt even like that food anymore but no I kept stuffing it all in.Then to top that off I ate a piece of chocolate mudcake and a bottle of coke.Will I ever learn that when things are down not to hurt myself by eating. I have been so strong and so proud of myself for these past 9 weeks so why did I do this yesterday?
I am back on track today and very determined but cant find the answer as to Why I did it?Maybe I should just forget it, Can you do this successfully ? I guess you have to and one thing I know is theres no excuses. I am responsible for what I do to myself, what I put in my mouth is my own doing.
Now I also have come to realise that before I reach my goal my lifes more than likely going to have some ups and downs and the ppl in my life who I love are going to have problems too that is a reality so what do I do next time I feel so helpless , last thing I want is to turn to food so I am going to do myself a little book to read when I feel like I did yesterday and hopefully that will help me .
If anyone reads this pls feel free to leave any suggestions.
Take care and stay positive
Emixxxxxxxxx
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