What a day today has been.......... my g/f was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent the morning today with her to try and cheer her up and I guess take her mind off things for a bit before she goes into hospital tomorrow. She did thank me before I left for being there and cheering her up as best as one can do which was good as she did laugh and I so admire her strength and courage.
So anyway I got home and just fell apart, I have cried and cried virtually for the past 2 hours, scared for her and scared for me too. Instead of exercising like I normally would I just seem to want to sit and cry. I feel a tad selfish as this isnt about me its about my g/f but its just when someone close to you is diagnosed with that dreaded C word , you begin to think what if I have it as well, well I think it and im sure others do too. I have even gone and made an appointment for me to have a mammogram as I am so scared. I am thinking the worst before I even know anything and its eating me, tearing me up inside and all I can think of is what if I am loosing all this weight for nothing, what if I have C too , then it wont matter about loosing weight will it? . I just wish I could switch my mind off, I know I am being silly but am really really scared.
Why am I writing this in here anyway........ gees I guess this is my diary where I air my feelings well I have done before with other stuff so guess wont matter.
2 comments:
Hello Emi
I understand how you feel as I lost my sister to breast cancer when she was 42. I felt sort of guilty but I knew I had to be there for her.
Makes us all realise how precious life, family and friends are.....take care of yourself, too.
I also wanted to say thanks for posting on my blog.
Cheers for now Bronwyn
I understand how you feel as well. The closer the person is to you, I think the harder it is to deal with them being diagnosed with the big C. I think what you're feeling is completely normal - it is hard on everyone.
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